I feel stronger than I have in the longest time. Mentally and deep within my soul. I have enjoyed my time here in Florida and although I won't be planning a move anytime soon, I am starting to prepare for the next chapter. Speaking of chapters... I've been cleaning out my creative closet and working on the research level of my writing and will be focusing 2024 on just that... writing. I've written about it in so many blog posts that its embarrassing. But I am working diligently at setting myself up with a clean slate for 2024.
I am putting art on the backburner for now and working six days a week (sometimes the full 7) trying to earn back the money I spent being a short lived flight attendant. You might think that working all the time would make me too tired to write... I feel as though I fall into the opposite category. If I'm busy... my mind is busy. I'll force myself to fill the pockets of time with writing. If I remove all other distractions of my free time, I might just get this thing off the ground. I need one dedicated year. The idea, or should I say ideas have been swirling around... started and then stopped for 3 years now. 3 years! Ack, I should be ashamed. But then again, I think if I would have finished the first manuscript (I wrote 50k words in 2020!) I would have been mortified with the result. Sometimes patience produces the magic. Then again, I wrote my first book as a screenplay in 2007. It took me until the year of 2019 to turn it into a novel. In that case the life experience I gained was the magic I needed.
And a part of me feels as though once this new book comes to a completion, I can finally move on. It's a new genre, a new feel, visiting past traumas in my own life that once I pass them on to a character I've written... I can then mentally move on from them as well. I know that may sound stupid, but hey, what if it helps!
I'm now at a funny age during a funny time in the history of humanity. On one hand, I better get this thing written before AI completely takes over! Kidding but seriously... I follow so many writers' groups on Meta that writers and editors are freaking out. Go ask your Alexa to tell you a story about a _____. She'll have one, or five. I'm not saying I'm giving up writing after this, I'm just saying I want to knock one out before things get really crazy.
And what does the future hold for me? Peace. That's how I want to spend my next ten years. I want to survive in peace and tranquility. If that is me on my paddleboard in the middle of a body of water once a week or floating in the ocean under the sunshine... that is how I want to spend my days. Make enough money to keep the roof over my head and a vehicle to take me on adventures and the rest... well, I've done the rest. I don't want that to sound braggish in any way. But if I look back on my life, I'm good. I have plenty of stories to tell, tales of lost love and the only blank pages left are for nature and her creatures. That's my happy place, so whatever it will take to keeping me chasing my peace, that's where I'll be.
Priorities change with age. Ask me what I wanted when I was 19 and I wanted nothing more than a corner office in a NY skyscraper with my name on the door burning the midnight oil. And it's okay that your priorities change. Goals and dreams change. It's okay that your vision is different from your sibling's or neighbor's vision. Be you. You are unique. You are special. You are important.
So, in the New Year, I hope that you don't stress too much on resolutions. I hope you ask yourself "What makes me happy." Like deep down in your SOUL happy. Chase that. If it's travel but you can't afford it... log on to the discovery channel, youtube or open a book and travel... just in a different way. If the beach makes you happy but your 500 miles away from one and it's snowing outside... search ocean videos and close your eyes. If family makes you happy, figure out a way to spend more time with them. We can't MAKE time. But we can choose how to spend it. Even if that means saying no to other habits, vices or telling your boss that you would cover for so-and-so... because you hate to disappoint them know it's okay to say no. It's okay to make yourself happy. This is how we contribute to the happiness of others, but it all starts within ourselves.
Well, that was a good old-fashioned rant! Thanks for reading this far and I hope that maybe there was an inkling that may have helped you in some way. You are appreciated reader and I wish you and those you love the most magical holiday season. Cheers to the New Year upon us.
May you find your peace within.
-Blondesheep