So here I am, in my little cave, having done all of the things I could do to prepare for the move... filled with anxiety. No amount of lavender and stress pill concoctions or melatonin can help me now. I waited 3 months to get into a place, only to have it postponed again... only by 1 day... but for real Universe... I can't take much more. I make lists only to throw away the list to make another list because all I've had was time. And for the shortest month of the year... February you have been torture.
I read a meme yesterday that said something along the lines of ... be aware of the things you say because you are putting those thoughts and that energy into the world. Kind of gave myself a little slap in the face when I read that. I'm not a negative person. I'm a plan A, B, C and D person because I am a product of lessons learned. I wish I was a "fly by the seat of my pants' person. How fun would that be! I did have the thought that if for some reason my move gets postponed... AGAIN... I'm buying a one way ticket to Australia to complete my bucket list numero uno wish... To hold a koala and then figure out the rest from there.. but alas... responsibilities and such. One day. One day.
So while sitting here in my cave deciding whether or not to keep watching Vikings on Netflix, work on some crafty projects that haven't been packed up yet because in my reality I have two afternoons before work where I will have idle hands (see... always planning) or eating more cookies that I shouldn't be eating... I started festering on my frustrations and decided to blog! I forgot how nice it is to share my rollercoaster life with strangers. So thank you! I really needed YOU today!
I guess I should explain the photo at the top... geeze, taking my grande ole time here, sorry! I took that pic at a local beach last week and it was perfect. It captured everything I've been feeling lately. From the dark cloud overhead (my anxiety), the ocean (my need for calm), the surfer (bucket listing), to the two little birds (as much as I love being alone I miss my best friends). So are we there yet? Am I there yet? Not quite. But I sure as heck have been working on it.
I am thankful for my job that allows me to work towards my goals, thankful for those who have been helpful in my journey, my little car Lizzy who carts me around and never complains about it ;), thankful for the amazing weather we've been having and looking forward to a chapter 2, FL edition.
In being aware of what I'm putting out in the Universe, I would just like said Universe to know that I would like to go to California for 5 days in August, so if I could put my name on the list, book a reservation or start earning brownie points... let's have your people call my people so we can make that happen.
In closing, I am hopeful that next time I post an entry I'll be sitting on my wicker patio furniture from my new place (on an actual patio that I can call my own, with solar powered fairy lights and a gnome garden... have to have a gnome garden! And if you are the praying type, throw one in there for me and I'll return the gesture two-fold.
Thank you for your time and your reading eyes,
I'll be here in my cave... waiting.
Blondesheep