I hadn't noticed it before and maybe it was because I wasn't really looking for the universe to tell me that I had indeed taken a turn down a path that just doesn't quite fit. I wanted something new, I was determined on the decision to Re-Invent myself if you will. But here I am, weeks before I turn the big 40 without a single clue as to what I'm doing.
I can say this. I am glad I tried. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and went for it. I studied hard for 4.5 weeks and challenged myself in ways that I would not have otherwise. I met some amazing people and even got to see world from the cockpit at 30k feet but sadly, this career change is not for me.
And I will also say this: The career choice of a flight attendant is a great choice for many. Benefits and travel perks for sure. However, in this economy as a single person living in 2023 on her own, I am unable to make it work. I'll tough it out. I always do.
Am I disappointed? Yes. Mostly because I feel as though I let down those who were so supportive throughout the process. But then I remember they are my chosen family and they chose me. All my quirks, my ups and my downs. And if I'm being honest, I went into this whole change knowing there would be a possibility that it wouldn't be a good fit. Better to learn that early than let another ten years of life slip away. Because who am I kidding? I'm certainly not getting any younger.
So as I venture into 40 knowing that I would rather die broke and happy than broke trying to make a career work that just isn't me... I'll be writing down the pros and cons of staying... of going somewhere new... of going back to what I know or digging roots into the soil beneath these toes. I'll be on the water with the dolphins and manatees, in the ocean with the waves who never rest a single day, hoping my inspiration comes full circle for the new book I've been trying to produce and for gosh sakes... just trying to figure out what the rest of my life looks like because as of right now, I have no idea. And let me tell you... that's okay. Let the wanderlust take over. Let me roam the earth and search each end to find where I fit in. Let me meet every single person I can and leave behind a little bit of myself along the way.
It's in loosing ourselves that we find ourselves.
Yours,
Blondesheep