I flew in a few days ago on a jam-packed flight. I had received an email from the airline about 72 hours prior just giving me a heads up that my flight appeared to be looking very "busy" and if it suited my plans, I could change my flight at no cost. Red flag much? I had been given a bit of insight from people who had flown during the pandemic and steered clear from certain airlines because I heard they were boarding their planes at any cost... Booking all the people like sardines and not caring about distancing. If you bought a ticket to fly, you made the conscious decision to take a chance against a virus no one knows much about. Your bad.
So even though I had received the email and I knew the risks, I boarded the flight along with roughly 120 other flyers, about fifteen off them being children or babies. (I love children, but even adults freak out on planes so imagine your own anxiety latching on to 15 young'ins... all taking turns sharing their lung strength at 30K feet for hours on end.) Thankfully I had taken an early train (Amtrak did a great job with their social distancing protocol and the employees at the Philly SEPTA system were professional and very helpful) So I was exhausted by the time I took my seat on the flight and my row neighbors (including a child) were pretty tired as well so there was a lot of sleep had on that flight.
I will say this. There was social distancing on that flight. In first class. I was one of the last people to board and as I walked through their little cabin, they were all spaced a comfortable distance apart while the rest of us were herded to the main cabin. Says something doesn't it?
Enough with the complaining! I have finally returned to the beautiful state that I have loved my whole life. From afar through movies and books as a child, the 7 years I was a resident and then for the last six years after returning to PA. My move back to CA was actually set for October 1st, 2020. But as the Corona decided that she would stay awhile, I had to move my tentative move to Spring of 2021. So being able to come back during the week I was going to move is bitter sweet.
So when the opportunity arose to visit for a week, I took it. I knew the risks but with the pandemic arose a little neuron exchange that reminded me that life is precious and very, very short. I knew that I wouldn't be returning to the same Hollywood I left behind 6 years ago, but I just needed a taste. A reboot, an inspiration boost and a break. This past year I have been working very hard to regain my health, find my place in this crazy world and save as much money as I can for the move. The move which has no definite date, but is there in the back of my mind, always.
I do have to hand it to Californians, they are on point with following the pandemic rules. From wearing their masks everywhere, including walking the dog to their restaurant precautions. It's tougher here when it comes to the air quality. The repercussions from the terrible fires gobbling up NORCAL and even as close as Burbank is crazy. When the pandemic first hit, people were posting pics from up top Runyon Canyon overlooking as far as the eye could see. Before quarantine and after and the result was magnificent. Now the air has a cloudiness that you squint your eyes to see through to no avail. The air is thick and although the traffic has let up a BIT from what I remember, with people returning to work, the highways are crowded and those pretty pictures of a smog free LA are but a glimpse from the past.
But there are a few things that cease to change. The sunrises and sunsets are those made of magic and the ocean waves continue to crash. I had some time in Pacific Beach yesterday and caught a few great wave sets on video. Having spent a little time researching wave structure for the new book, it was filling to know what I was looking for and a feeling of accomplishment when I found it.
I wrote earlier about finding inspiration. The past few months have been difficult in my writing world. When I left Bella Marshall, I starting working on "Unexpected Love." The next novel on my journey, or so that's how I had mapped it out., but it didn't feel right. That's when Camlin Rose knocked on my door and asked me to go for a ride, and I bit. Then I realized sheepishly that I had taken the rollercoaster the wrong way with my first book and published prematurely. (As I previously wrote in my last blog about that disaster) So after 6 chapters with Camlin, I put her on hold and fixed my mistakes. (Self publishing I am finding is looked down upon in the industry and for reasons I understand, but I am not deterred) So as I came to a close of the fixing I had to do, I was overwhelmed by another character who stems from a rough background. I couldn't ignore her and so I took that attention to starting an outline and her prologue emerged. So now that Bella is a character of the past, I have two stories that are begging for my attention. Camlin and Rylin. One is a beach setting, the other is a fighting ring. One character is on a travel to find herself (of course lol) and the other is trying to survive. So when I boarded the plane I brought both brainstorming notebooks and I said, OK Cali, where will my brain me headed this Winter? When I am holed up fighting the winter winds and weather, what will keep me warm and my fingers typing?
So it's been a few days and I am happy to report their is a victor. So for the next 4 months I am going to dedicate to this next novel and hopefully be in publish mode by Spring. I need to stick to it though! As much as I have a need to tell the other story, it's not quite time yet and my headspace isn't clear enough to dedicate to the energy needed to tell her story. She'll just have to wait patiently for my return. Like California, our timing is just a little off, but we'll get there.
So when a friend from back East text "Does it feel like home?" when they learned that I had landed safely, I simply text back "In ways".
Home is where you make it and sometimes there isn't anywhere to call home at all. I'll always feel home with certain people in my life and where they are, I know I will find a place of love and safety. I can't explain how I feel when I am here in this state other than the simplicity that it feels right. I'm not looking for something better, I am comfortable. I feel comfortable back East in my little apartment because I have filled it with me but I feel comfortable here because everything surrounding me... is me. I don't need things, I just need the sunshine, the palm trees and the ocean breeze.
Now that I have ranted, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this blog. As I type, I don't know who will read this and I can only hope that I say something the resonates along the way. You can follow me at @Blondesheep on Instagram for some photos here and there, if you are into the IG kind of thing. But one thing is sure, I appreciate that you have taken the time to allow me to be a part of your day. Thank you.
Cheers and if you can, take a moment for yourself today. You deserve it.
-Blondesheep